Matching Scars
by Cis100
Summary: ROTS AU - One Shot: Obi-Wan visits a broken Anakin in his cell.


**Matching Scars**

I believed in the Jedi Code – I really did.

I believed that a true believer and a true practitioner could accomplish anything if their body was relaxed and their mind was at peace. However, there was a time, more specifically after Qui-Gon died, that I had questioned it and questioned my purpose as a Jedi. Siri Tachi had been the outlet of my attitude during that time and in those two years, we grew to a place that no Jedi should ever grow to. I could honestly say that I loved her and even after all these years after her death, I still loved her and I would mourn her for the rest of my life. I knew that made me a hypocrite, it also, in the minds of several of my peers, a heretic, and that's why I kept that secret close to my chest and never let it reveal itself to the world.

If anyone had found out about my love affair with Siri, and the place that I was in after she was killed, it would not do well. Now though, now something was telling me that it was time to come clean. With the revelation of Chancellor Palpatine's true identity, his attempted coup of the Republic and my former student's sudden, and possibly, short-lived fall to the Dark Side, I knew that the time had come. Anakin had to understand that he was not alone in his predicament, he had to understand the error of his ways, and even if it was too late, he had to understand that if he had just come to me, I would have understood and helped.

"Why are you here?" Anakin's hollow voice asked from the darkness of his cell.

He'd been in a cell in the pit of the Jedi Temple for days now, and in that time, he'd only talked to two people, Senator Amidala and Master Yoda. Truthfully, he really hadn't been a problem down here. He'd followed his caretaker's instructions, ate his meals, slept most of the time, and hadn't not disturbing anything. The Senator and Master Yoda had told me quite bluntly to not expect the same Anakin that I had seen before I left to fight General Grievous. He'd become a hollow shell of his former self, broken by his emotions and actions.

I had been told that when Anakin went to Chancellor Palpatine's office – he'd wavered in his loyalties between Master Windu and Palpatine. In the end, he had chosen the Jedi – and beheaded the Chancellor. The ensuing chaos that followed was where the problems began.

The following slaughter of Chancellor Palpatine's staff and guards opened a window into the world that could have been if Anakin had chosen Palpatine. Master Windu had been powerless to stop the systematic execution of Palpatine's senate guards, Mas Amedda, Sly Moore and Sate Pestage. In that moment, as I was told, after Anakin had finished his killing spree, he offered his lightsaber to Master Windu and broke down into hysterics in his field of carnage. Call it morbid curiosity, but I wanted to know why he killed all of them and then proceeded to bawl like a child. What had Palpatine done to him to make him act like that?

The Senate had demanded Anakin's head the next morning – and it was only through the combined strength and political will of our order that we weren't forced to give him over to them. It had taken quite a bit of political capital on our part, after all, he, in the process of a half hour, slew the Chancellor, the Vice Chancellor, two of his aides and six valued guards of the senate. Our legal representatives were already presenting Anakin's case to the Senate and to the Supreme Court, and, much to the shock of everyone at large, revealing Palpatine's true nature to the galaxy. It would probably take years to unravel the mysteries that the Sith Lord had left us – but we had already raided his office and found his bunker in the very foundations of 500 Republica. We were confident that we had won this hidden war.

"I wanted to speak with you," I replied.

"Obviously," Anakin snorted derisively, "Have you taken care of the clones yet?"

Neglecting the issue of our mystery Sith Lord, the issue of the Clones had been our biggest priority in the last few days. When we penetrated Sidious's bunker under 500 Republica, we found records dating back to over a decade, and we found something of great interest to us personally. When the army was commissioned, Palpatine had instructed Dooku to order the cloners to add a little program to the Clones. With the very inconspicuous name of "Order 66" – the command activated program would automatically force all of the Clones in the service of the army to turn on their Jedi Commanders and kill them. They would then swear their allegiance to the Chancellor and only to the chancellor, thus giving him is large army.

It was ingenious from an unbiased standpoint.

And to think, we almost were the victims of it.

Palpatine's goals had become abundantly clear to Master Yoda. Palpatine had ordered the army created and he had implanted Order 66 in the tens of millions of clone's heads, knowing that we would be overwhelmed by them if they took us off guard. He then provoked a war, in which he played puppet master for both sides and simply waited for the opportune time. That time would have come if Anakin hadn't come back to us in the end.

He would have the most powerful Jedi ever in his clutches, he'd have an unbeatable army, he'd have the senate, and he'd have absolute power. We never saw it coming and if it were not for Anakin, we would have only known about it until was too late to stop it. Thankfully Palpatine's immaculate records detailed his contacts on Kamino – we arrested them yesterday and we were now in the process of bringing the clones completely under our control until they could be taken back to their home and helped. Order 66 could not be allowed to remain in their brains, no matter how much we despised having to take control of the army. If any of Palpatine's minions, who knew of the order, got control of them…

The bloodshed would not be over then.

"We're dealing with them," I waved my hand in a dismissive gesture and walked over to sit down in one of the chairs next to the wall and look at his shadow. This was so terribly depressing. How did it all end up like this? How far did I fail him? I'd always measured myself to the bar of Qui-Gon, but I had obviously failed, "The interim Supreme Chancellor Padme Amidala has decided to give us control over the army into the foreseeable future."

I could definitely hear his voice perk up at that news, "Padme's been made Chancellor?"

"Correct, the senate unanimously voted her to serve the rest of Palpatine's term," I replied with an air of relief. As much as I didn't trust her type, meaning politicians, and the last few days only heightened my belief, she was the only politician that I trusted with power right now. Yes, if there was anyone who could help us in our efforts, it would be Padme Amidala.

For the first time what seemed a long time, I heard Anakin emit laughter – it was a small laugh, yes, but it was laughter that teemed with genuine amusement, "I happen to know that Sidious had over three fourths of the senate in his pocket, so how did this happen?"

"Well, when the public at large learned of what Palpatine was behind closed doors and his plans for the future, public opinion turned on him over night," I allowed myself the very smallest of smiles, I would never admit it, but it was vindicating to have the seemingly unstoppable Palpatine knocked down, "All of us puppet senators turned quite quickly."

"Good," I heard Anakin exhale, "Very good."

"Padme is a good woman," I tried to find his eyes in the dark, "She'll do some good."

"I know," Anakin agreed, obviously nodding his head, "That's why I love her."

"I know you do Anakin," I began cautiously – he wouldn't believe me at first, I knew he wouldn't. To him, as he constantly pointed out, I was the perfect Jedi and I could do no wrong, if he only knew, "I know how you feel – I know exactly how you've been feeling."

Anakin scoffed, "No you don't – no Jedi does."

"And that is what brings me to the purpose of my visit," It was the perfect segue to this.

"Are you going to pontificate on the evils of love?" Anakin mocked me and against my better judgment, I felt my anger rise. My anger was misplaced though, I had to remind myself of that fact, because I knew that there wasn't a soul alive that was aware of my affair with Siri. Still, to say that I didn't know what it was to love annoyed me to the core. He was not the only one to have that and have that kind of relationship and have it cruelly ripped away.

"No," I leaned back in the chair and crossed my legs, "Do you remember Master Tachi?"

"Of course I do Obi-Wan," Anakin sounded derisive, "I spent a month trying to che-…"

Anakin's voice broke off and I knew that he had connected the dots with minimal prodding on my part. I didn't know if this would help him, per say, but I wanted him to know that he was not the sole Jedi to experience this kind of situation. Folding my hands in my lap and glaring down at the floor, I tried to think of something that would break the tense silence that had come upon us, anything – but sitting there in the quiet, nothing came to me at all.

"Are you saying that you loved her?" Anakin's voice was quiet.

I nodded, "Yes – and she loved me too, we'd been together for a few years before she was killed. We both knew the consequences of what would happen if we were caught, but we continued to be with each other in that regard until the day she died. There were moments when I let her supersede my oath – but generally, we managed to keep it between us."

"And when she died, I lost myself for a couple of years, I'm sure you remember how I was then," I turned to give him a look – trying to force him to remember the time after Siri died and my particularly frosty demeanor. I knew that Anakin had always assumed that it was because of him or something that he had done – and that was a big mistake on my part.

Turning fully to face him, I placed an apologetic look on my face, "If you had known that I had also loved, and lost someone I loved – maybe you would have come to me when he started manipulating you. Maybe you would have trusted me more, and for that, I'm sorry."

Now was the time to get all of this off of my chest, because there was the possibility that I would not be able to speak to him again once the legal ramifications were in full swing. I would have to live the rest of my life knowing that I played a part in what he had done, and all I could do was count my blessings that he hadn't joined that man. The slaughter of Palpatine's servant was a look into what could have happened if he had turned completely.

"I-I didn't know," Anakin stuttered, "If I had known-…"

"Then things would be different, but there's no point in dwelling on the past Anakin," I leaned forward and wrapped my hands around the force-suppressed bars, "I am so sorry Anakin, I'm sorry for everything, now all that we can do is move on and try to rebuild."

Anakin was quiet for a moment, and I was a bit irritated that he still hadn't moved.

"What'll happen to me now?" Anakin asked quietly.

And I felt my pang in my chest – he had said those words once before on one of the saddest days of my entire life, but then I had made him a promise to make him a Jedi. Now, I didn't know what I could do – he would be punished for his wanton acts of murder, yes – but the severity of those punishments was still in question, in light of the Palpatine revelations.

"Execution, not likely," I reflected, pulling back from the bars, "Prison time, not likely either, not with everything that we've expended to keep you out of a government prison. You're most likely going to be punished with exile, at least from what I'm hearing. That's due to the influence of your wife, if she gets her way, which she most likely will. You will be expelled from the Core Worlds for the next decade, the softest of the possible outcomes."

And this finally got Anakin to move out from the shadows and when he did, I couldn't help but let out a silent gasp. There was nothing that could prepare me to see the normally healthy and vibrant looking Anakin turned into this. His normally bright eyes were not dull, with bags under his eye lids, and his skin had taken on a sort of slight shrunken gauntness that I was surprised to find. He was in no way being starved or mistreated, so why did he look like it? That was another conversation I'd have to have with his caretaker.

"Am I still a Jedi?" Anakin raised an eyebrow, a skeptical glint in his eye.

"That's up to you," I replied.

And I was just as shocked as he looked when I heard the pronouncement from the council.

If it had been anyone else, he would have been banished.

For his secret marriage.

For falling in love.

For committing unrestrained murder.

For having children.

But he was Anakin Skywalker, he was the Chosen One – and though his actions were deplorable, his actions also had the effect of cleansing the Galaxy of Sith-filth. It was that reason and that reason alone that he would be allowed to remain in the Order if he wished, but there were stipulations. Stipulations that I was sure he'd be too prideful to accept.

"I have a choice?" Anakin blinked in surprise.

"You do," I nodded and took a deep breath in, "But under a few stipulations."

"I am not leaving Padme and abandoning my child," His voice grew strong.

I shook my head, "You don't have to do that – in return for obeying these stipulations, when your, likely, exile is over – the council will sanction your marriage to Chancellor Amidala."

"Has that ever happened before?"

I shrugged, "In the past, once or twice, Master Yoda searched through the archives and found a few cases from times long past that set precedent. They'll allow it, under the condition that you do not preach this to the rest of the Order, is that acceptable to you?"

"So I'll be a Jedi, and get to see my wife?" He seemed to want an absolute answer.

I nodded, "Correct, provided you obey their stipulations."

"And what are they?" Anakin asked cautiously.

Taking a deep breath in, I steadied myself, "If you choose to remain with us, we will take you Kashyyk. There, you will be assisting the Wookies in driving the remaining droids off of the planet. After that has been completed, you will assist in establishing a Jedi Enclave on that planet, the Wookies have agreed to it and the council has commissioned its building."

Anakin nodded, "Why do I get the feel that there is more?"

"That's because there is," I replied slowly, "On top of those conditions, you will be stripped of your rank of Knight – from the newly established Enclave, you will be required to work your way back up to the rank of Knight, on Kashyyk, under the tutelage of pre-selected Master. Once you have regained that rank, you'll be free to accept off world assignments."

Anakin made a face and I knew what he was feeling.

He had worked hard and struggled to gain his rank and now he'd have earn it back.

He lowered his head, "And what else?"

"And for that time, you will not be allowed contact with your wife, or child."

That was the one that I was completely sure that he'd have a problem with, but I was told that none of these conditions were non-negotiable. He could choose to leave the Order and go into exile as a citizen, have all of the rights to see his child and his wife as he wanted, but perhaps that would be hollow for him. Maybe, he would accept – to have a life while he was in exile, and when he came back, he'd be able to be a Jedi and have his wife and child.

Looking back up, he looked eyes with me, "If I do this – when I return, will I able to see them without any interference?"

I nodded, "Yes – the council will grant you that privilege, so long as you do not publically espouse this belief in front of the Order. You'll be allowed to live there, spend your days with your children, but you will also need to remember your commitment to the Jedi."

"Will you keep me updated on them?" Anakin asked me, hope in his eyes.

"Yes, I'll be seeing you frequently, I've been assigned to supervise your progress."

Anakin nodded and I could see the look of genuine relief on his face, "At least, I get to see someone I know."

I offered him a small smile, "Of course."

"And will you keep an eye on my child? And on Padme too? I only trust you to do it," Anakin told me, his eyes glittering with barely held back emotion, and I could only answer with a certain response. It was an unfortunate side-effect of my bond with him, I couldn't say no.

"Always," I promised him.

A smile drifted on his face, "Thank you."


End file.
